A question to all my blog buddies. You can answer anonymously, in case you`re uncomfortable. But do answer.
Has marriage killed the girl in you?
Are you more programed, more regulated in your thoughts and deeds?
Or are you simply calmer? Assuaged?
Are you still in love?
Or are you simply loving? Caring, fond and loyal..?
What does marriage do to you?
Since the journey of my marriage has been a long one.to be precise 35 years,it will take me some real thought to think about it.....Has marriage changed me..yes in some ways, I was the one famous listener, and marriage to a totally same type of person turned me to become a talker:)...Otherwise our home would be a silent era. And in many other things I have grown as a person, since i got married very young, I was an impulsive,hyper ,rigid and righteous to the extent of being very adamant. To me everything was in black and white, grey never existed, now I think its most of the grey, I am still righteous, but have learned to be flexible.But I was very naive, and even today when I see girls being so manipulative, saying something and doing the other thing, I wonder, do they teach this also in colleges today. I always say what is in my heart,even living with inlaws hasnt changed my mindset, I cant manipulate people.
Marriage nevr killed the girl inside me, rather I bloomed...all the things I couldnt do before marriage, I did after ..like watching all the movies in hall:) and learned so many things, as my life partner always encouraged me and supported me in all my hobbies.
Dont know whether I should term it as programming, but yes after marriage one learns to do something for others also. I do many things, just because they make my hubby happy..all the time I cant think what is making me happy..its always family.I have always put my family first than me, so none of my ambitions or ego, nothing comes before them. And I have learned to take everything in my stride..plus and minuses both.like earlier in my life I couldnt do many things due to the constraints of finances, then children and their education, and today because of my old MIL,but thats a part of life, when I enjoy all the privileges my husband provides, then I must take the responsibility also willingly...I know of few girls who enjoy the privileges citing it as their luck, but dont want to take responsibilities
Love means different feelings for different people, and to me its never unconditional,,because I dont think I could love my husband if he didnt care for me, so its always reciprocal, and in arranged marriage it grows with time..as a different understanding comes.I have been conditioned to the thinking that marriages are forever, so the moment I completed my Saptpadi, I was bound to him in a sacred bond which I could never think otherwise, and we have certainly matured with time..both of us, I just wish that we had this insight earlier:)
Being disloyal, never even came to my mind,I cant even think of it, nothing could ever tempt me, I told you I am a very righteous person.To me strength of character is the first quality one must have, and this is what i have inculcated in my children too.
Marriage has given me two wonderful children who give me maximum pleasure and pain:).....and a partner who may have many priorities in life, but i am very important to him and he to me.Life is never perfect but it is good.
I wouldnt say that journey has been full of pleasure only, it had its own ups and downs, but I am happy that we managed them and reached where we are today.