Monday, May 14, 2012

conversation

My hubby and I do our daily walks in the evening, and most of the time do it silently as we find nothing to talk about..whereas even if I join any other strange woman,we have enough to talk about:).Same whenever we go to a restaurant, most of the time we are finished in 45 minutes..so when  I see the couples talking all the time, sometime inane things for hour, I feel very envious, as my husband talks very little.
But then i observed that whenever husband and wife talk too much, they end up having an argument ending with fight and sulking. And this is true of many relationships, like MIL, DIL..its better that they live with certain boundaries, the minute they start getting over friendly, pally and gossipy..tension creeps in...
And with SILs.I much prefer the old system, where they were given a pedestal and kept there only..And daughters were not asked for anything, today families make so many demands on married daughters and make their life difficult by bringing conflict in the couple.
what do you think?

14 comments:

up↑take said...

Talking creates more problems than most of us realize. Verbal communication (words) constitute only 7% of overall communcations. The other 93% happens by non-verbal cues.

chitra said...

In my house I do all the talking .My hubby also talks very less. One way I feel it is good. Peace prevails...

rama said...

Same here too. However, when I talk I do get response from my husband and we talk quite a bit, some times he himself starts the conversation, mostly I only start talking to him.
Especially during our long drives to various places we are happy not talking to each other, we only speak when it is necessary.
We both seem to like it that way, and I don't miss the talking much.
In fact during long drives if somebody keeps on talking non- stop I become very sleepy, and it is an ordeal to listen to their constant chattering.

Amrit said...

Yes. Mostly when both talk, they end up fighting...haha:)))

But it is not universal.

Renu said...

uptake:over communication is always bad:)

Chitra: same here:)

Rama: sometimes I miss it..There are so many things I would love to discuss and analyse.and thats why I started this blog..

Amrit: True.nothing is universal:)

Sandhya said...

Earlier we used to talk less. Now I talk a lot and half the times he doesn't even listen, just say 'hmmm', but I continue talking happily!

Happy Kitten said...

What shall one with a hubby who loves talking and expects his wife to listen and respond? No wonder we have so many silly fights :)

Thanks for the tip.. next time I shall do something to stop the conversation.

Arti said...

Though I am not married as yet, but I can say something that I believe in, for all relationships in life. I talk very less by nature and I believe certain boundaries are made for good. Two pillars need to maintain a certain distance of respect in order that the building stands tall. The minute they come too close to each other, the building stands the risk of falling apart.

sm said...

short but perfect thoughtful post

sm said...

now parents demand lot from married girls agree with you

Bikramjit said...

well thats what conversation is one talks one listens .. if both talk it will be chaos


Bikram's

jyothismusings said...

I am all for communicating well. So what if there is a fight? It helps in the bonding process. And it doesn't help keeping things in and accepting everything.

Boundaries are better kept with outsiders. In a family I believe that there should be more openness.

As for no topics of discussions, that I totally agree. Finances and kids seem to be the only things we discuss these days. I wonder what we will talk about when these responsibilities are done with!

Rachna said...

My husband and I, we talk a lot. I do the bulk of talking :). You are right, when you talk more sometimes that may lead to arguments too.

Renu said...

Sandhya: I am the only one who talks in my house:)

Happy kitten: you are a lucky person to have a talkative husband..they are very rare:) so treasure him.

Arti: my experience also says the same thing..

sm: yes parents demand sometimes bring the same conflict in their marital life which was common earlier for boys to have.

Bikram:Both can talk one by one:)

Jyothi:Even i thought the same...but practically i saw that more communication was creating more problems, instead of solving them:)
Some relationships are too delicate to have no boundary.

Rachna:But atleast he gives some inputs, mine is always quiet:(