Thursday, June 14, 2012

Dowry

As I had written earlier in my post woman too..dowry is not all that bad, its made so by unscrupulous people, otherwise it was given to make young couple's life comfortable and in lieu of property which was given to sons.
And most of the people think that parents of boys are responsible for this menace and only they can change it. But it is not so, parents of girls are equally responsible and they really have the power to eradicate it...

1..All parents must give equal upbringing to girls and boys both...give them education, let them work.

2.Dont look for boys from high status only or for arranged marriages, let the girls choose their partners irrespective of caste and status.

3.If the girls want equality, then they shouldnt have any qualms about marrying a boy who earns less than them, or less educated than them, or is from a lower class......

4...Parents must give equal rights to daughters in their property( as there would be no dowry)

5..It would be better if boy and girl earn and save enough for the celebrations of their marriage,parents of either side need not to pitch in for expenses.



12 comments:

Ash said...

Hmm... points to ponder! but they do make sense.

L KRUPAA said...

This is food for thought.
Nut I disagree when u say "Dowry is not all that bad". My stand is that dowry should not be given or taken. Be it girls or boys, we have to earn it and not expect it from anybody.

Harman said...

Yes very true!
it should be equality in everything!

Rachna said...

Giving assets to girls equally will go a long way.

Irfanuddin said...

i wish n pray that some sense prevail among us and we start following these.....

sm said...

to eradicate this social evil both parties need to be punished.
nice post and nice suggestions.

zephyr said...

Marriages conducted by joint financial commitment is the best solution, even if by the two families if not the couple itself. And Renu, it is happening already, though we are always highlighting the bad examples instead of the good ones.

Renu said...

Ash: I hope they make a difference.

Lkrupa:Its good if we can think that way too, but parents always want to make their children's life comfortable, so I dont find any harm with that unless it is forced.

harman: Yes real equality..

Rachna:and girls will have to open their mind..

Irfannuddin: yes we will, though it will take some time.

SM; though I dont think punishment is any solution, but may be in Indian context punishment works more than prevention:)

zephyr:because good examples are still in minority, the day they become majority they will be highlighted:)

I tell you that everyday I hear one person saying something bad about this generation(in context with families), if I put all that in my blog, it will become a strong vitriolic one...whereas all that is truth.

muthu said...

hmhm.... yeah- your post does make sense. but you now what I think. I think that certain aspects of our marital practice has entered into the domain of culture. like dowry perhaps. People want to abolish it but there is always the question of who is going to tie the bell to the cat. what will you do when you are going to marry? It's quite easy to talk about third parties? Lets say I dont approve of dowry but my parents and the society look down on me for my opinions. Now, how will I react? There in lies the real drama.. Dont you think?? Try this one- It's about dowry.


http://average-everyday.blogspot.in/2009/08/definitely-dowry-short-story.html

Renu said...

Muthu: I didnt take any dowry for my son and didnt give any for my daughter..

I think if we believe in something we must take an action irrespective of what others will say.

chattywren said...

Very thought provoking post, Renuji! I know of an instance - an arranged marriage, where the boy's family wanted a grand marriage, the girl took a loan for the same, got married and the couple is now paying it off together!!!! All this was done for the benefit of the guests who probably don't remember much about the wedding in any case.

Renu said...

chattywren:.this is our mentality, in my family too while marrying my children I had to fight my way not to go over budget just for the guests,we have this show off mentality, secondly our criterias for respecting people are very funny..we respect not for knowledge or behaviour but for pomp and show.