Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Life is such a big teacher , it teaches everything.everything you didnt want to learn and everything you didnt want to know even...she was living a dream..mainly because she was such a simple girl, no other interest other than studies and house work. And in that she was really good. achiever there and excellent here.People talked about gender biases and parents differentiating between daughter and sons, but she never thought about it.Her parents loved her and it was enough for her, she never bothered about what they were doing for her brothers, as they were so dear to her too and she loved themm from her heart.
But life changed everything when she got married...neither her parents considered her own, nor inlaws.Her parents didnt bother about her comfort or needs, they did their duty and wanted to shake hands off and inlaws..they were typically inlaws type who wanted more and more from her parents, and her parents didnt even want to do anything, not even the traditional gifts( thought they were well off and could do it, but for them girls didnt have any right on parent's property and she was not a family now, so why should they spend on her) and she became the punching bag.
And in the process the girl who was an idealist suffered a lot. She always wanted a loving family and wanted to live with inlaws in harmony and care for them as they were her only family, but their attitude created a mistrust between them.And she never wanted herself to be a burden to her parents, so on one side her inlaws demands pained her a lot, her parents reluctance to do anything also made her feel very sad and unwanted.
Now in such cases most of the time it is said that inlaws are bad people and they are targeted, and girls also form a morcha against them, but somewhere I feel that there are so many things which contribute..like traditions..where if girls side is well off, most of the people start expecting a lot, but on the contrary if they are not giving type discontent starts.I dont think there is anything wrong with parents giving to their daughters, dont they leave everything for their sons? why everything given to girls is considered dowry and a bad word?....yes here it may be used by inlaws, but once married, they should also be considered family, not outsiders...we must think of everything in a positive light..
And since we are conditioned like that, when a mother marries her son, she expects a lot.I know its wrong, but mindsets are not changed in a day, now people are changing, but instantly branding her bad is not fair.She should be given time to understand the changing scenario and in all that she must get due respect as a mother....Many new weds take this as an excuse to get rid of any responsibility towards inlaws.Many girls I know whose parents earn money thru all means and they take pride in that, but disown inlaws for any little fault, .families are there forever and we must try to solve the differences.. we cant get rid of them
And so she made a resolution that she will give her daughter best education, let her stand on her two feet and will support her in adversity,.......(continued)