Saturday, November 24, 2012

Dreams for everyone but...

We always dream for a good education, good spouse, good job, big house, bigger car, children's education and  marriage, their future, our retirement...and always plan for everything, but have you heard anybody planning  about the upkeep of his/her parents in old age? And thats the reason  that many children, though loving and good get fed up of their parents..yes you are reading right..I see many people getting irritated with their parents and secretly wishing  them away and then living in guilt. Most of the people always thing about the problem, but if they think about the solution may be they can get it.
Now when the life expectancy is increasing and sometimes one has to look after the parents till one is old oneself, or we can say for long time its not unusual to get fed up..because when children take long time in getting settled or getting jobs, parents also ridicule them, scold them and call names..but since they are parents they dont offend anyone, but children disrespecting their parents offend many's sensibilities because our society favours the old.and it is not good also..
So what is the solution.....
First thing as soon as we start earning we must ear mark a small amount aside every month for the parents, it will come handy to those who feel financially constrained.
Get your parents health insurance at an early age, its very helpful.
Whether you live with them or not, provide them with all the basic requirements..healthy fresh food, neat clothes to wear and a safe roof over their head,, but draw a line, dont let them interfere with your life.You live your life they way you want to , and then you will never get frustrated with parents.
Spend some time (regularly)with them.talking about something which is pleasant to them or they like..rest of the time you spend as you like .
If you have  parents who are semi invalid,.and you need to go out and have a good social life,then keep a help with them, you may economise somewhere else but  not here.and enjoy without a guilt..
Never ever be disrespectful to them or let your spouse be....
If they are capable, encourage them to have their own circle and help them in maintaining that, dont grudge it..

Last but not the least.....its our duty and a great debt of our parents and we must not hesitate in repaying that..its upto us whether we make it a burden or joy.




21 comments:

rudraprayaga said...

Your parents are lucky to have a caring daughter like you,renu.Only a caring daughter's mind only will think of such a topic. Nice.

sm said...

useful tips
yes getting insurance helps lot and saving each month is best option

Jeevan said...

That sounds so nice :) I’m sure this will lead a healthy relationship between parents and children.

Well said at last, Renu!

Chatty Wren said...

Very valid suggestions. I am going to share this with a few people I know.

Found In Folsom said...

Very good and valid suggestion, Renu. Especially for kids of our generation because our parents are young right now and won't take much time for them to depend on us. So, if we start saving for them too, that would be great.

Renu said...

Rudraprayaga: I think I am lucky who got good parents who taught me to think of others, today I look after my MIL...

sm: small steps count a lot and monthly savings accumulate a lot..

Jeevan: I hope so:)

Chatty Wren: Thanks dear !

Found in Folsum: Thanks Latha ! I believe that we can have healthy relationships if we think logically about everything..

L KRUPAA said...

A meaningful post, very apt for today's generation given that they are less selfless. We just need to think that one day we too would be in their shoes, so treat them like how you would be liked to treated.

anilkurup said...

It is a strange world !
How so ever we laud the culture of love, affection and care for parents, in this fast paced world of desperate running ,such feelings can often be seen scarce.
Have we not heard of parental love being trampled? Have we not hard of children who have been reared by parents who are beacons of parental love being banished in old age?

Cross my heart, it is a cut throat world out there!

rudraprayaga said...

Yes, small little savings of money makes a huge deposit, as little drops of water makes the mighty ocean.

Amrita said...

a very very apt post, and you said it very well. agreed with every bit of it.. in fact reminded me of the satya mev jayate episode on the same topic

Renu said...

LKrupa: World has all types of people, even today i see many children pampering their parents, and there are some practical problems which can be tackled if both sides want it.

Anilkrup:Its always been a mix of people earlier too and today too..all sorts..atleast some people today understand the responsibility..only thing they dont know how to go about it.

Amrita: Thank you Amrita!..so many times I see that intentions are good but still there is disharmony..

SG said...

I think you are stereotyping all senior citizens as poor and penniless. Many are well to do. All they want is love and affection. I recognize you have mentioned that too. They don’t want our money for health, food, clothes, and shelter.

When I came to USA, I told my parents (in India) that I will send them some money. They informed me if I am in need, they would send me some money.

My journey said...

Thank you for these wonderful words Renu ji. Though I dint understand semi invalid parents ? What were you referring to?

Thanks once again! :)

Bikramjit said...

we are who we are because of our parents .. and the person who forgets that is not a person anymore ..


sad when kids forget their parents , because they forget when they have kids they are going ot be treated the SAME WAY tooooo

Bikram's

phatichar said...

Agree with you on all counts. Good one!:)

Renu said...

SG: I am not stereotyping..I have just written an all inclusive post..give them what they need:

In India still we have many families where children feel financial strain of providing for the parents and parents are dependent on children.

My journey: Anil..this is about those parents who are not completely bedridden but then not physically independent either, like some cant walk, some cant see properly.

Bikram: Not many forget their parents, its circumstances and sometimes lack of communication makes the situation bad.
This is a mutual relationship and both side need to contribute to make it happy and meaning ful.

Phatichar: Thanks:)

Zephyr said...

Isn't always about give and take? About compromises that help a relationship? I for one wouldn't give up my hobbies and interests because that frees the children from the guilt of taking care of their parents' every need, including keeping them entertained! I have seen this happen often. A true Renu-style post :)

Renu said...

Zephyr: sorry Zephyr.I didnt understand your point..would you please elaborate..please do so, I love to read your point of view..

even as a person I myself wouldnt like to change my lifestyle neither as parent nor child, but we make so many compromises for children, cant we make a few for parents?

Shalom said...

Wow, this is so sensibly written! I wonder why more people cannot think and act like this .... so many people would live much happier lives then.

Zephyr said...

What I meant was that if parents keep themselves gainfully occupied or have some interests in life like a hobby, it makes children mentally free. I have seen young people going to pieces trying to organise activities for their parents because they get bored or can't keep themselves engaged in some way. I for one would rather do this than give up everything to take care of the children and their children, and turn into a burden in the longer run, don't you agree?

Renu said...

Zephyr:yes i agree, in anyway I wouldnt like to impose myself on my chidren, I dont ever want to be a burden,financial, physical or emotional:)..but how many children care so much to engage their parents..not many..