Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Person first

sometimes I wonder why I cant separate any one's professional life from personal one.Like I cant appreciate anyone professionally unless I feel that he/she is a good human being with good character. And once someone goes down that way, nothing can redeem him/her in my eyes. In that way all my reviews of actors are biased, because I always see the person first than work.

And the same happens to me in my all relationships.everybody has to have that humanity to get my love respect, otherwise however i may want but I cant..even if someone may care for me a lot....what is the problem with me?..even in blogging world, I have to like the person in that blogger to like the content or atleast somewhere their persona affects me..

is it the same with everybody or me only?

23 comments:

Chatty Wren said...

In real life, it is the same with me, though getting to know a person can take some time and hard work. When it comes to social media, it becomes a bit difficult to really know someone from their blogs or writing style, though one does tend to like some bloggers instinctively.

My journey said...

No its not same for me but somehow we tend to weigh personal character more than the professional behavior. A good professional dont always carry the same feeling.
Feelings and emotions get the high weightage because we are reared in that kind of environment.

Haddock said...

Well not exactly (with me) I have some subordinates working with me in my office. I judge their work when it comes to gradation and promotion. Not the number of times they wished me "good morning" or their behaviour in general.

anilkurup said...

That is a queer habit.

While one can detest and distance from profane, and scoundrels, using the unbridled yardstick of perfection to monitor and get to like people first and foremost -will turn the mirror to oneself too. don't you think?

goingbeyondthepages said...

Well in real life, to a certain extent it effects me but not totally. In blogging world, it is the content that makes an impression. The face behind it will reflect in the posts, isn't it!

Happy Kitten said...

You are a perfecionist! guess most of us are like that..

but then as human beings it would be good to remind ourselves that no one is perfect and that everyone is doing their best. This is the only way we can accept ourselves and many others.

rama said...

I think we have to change our perception and learn to see the situation or the people from a different angle. You have come so far as to understand your problem, it just a few steps, and the change can happen if you allow it to happen.
There is absolutely nothing wrong about the way you feel.
You are not the only one, we have all gone through this phase sometime or other in our lives, some of us may have changed some maybe going through the process of change.

Amrita said...

Not everybody. K is very objective.He can keep personal and professional very separate.But me too the boundaries are muddied. For they say when wealth is lost nothing is lost, when health is lost something is lost, but when character is lost, everything is lost.So thats the importance of character. So how can that be kept separate.
Personal life and character is one thing that makes me averse to many talented actors and sportspersons and politicians. But a good character makes me like a lot of average ones :)
To each their own, i dont think theres anything wrong either way :) Its just different ppl different ways of looking at things i feel

Found In Folsom said...

It's different, Renu. Personal and professional. I sometimes judge like that too. I know of a person at work, she is a gem in her work and we were good friends too. But one day, she had to bring in her sister and husband to work in the same team and she kicked me out of the team. Now, I don't care for her, but it hurts sometimes. But when it comes to work, I can't help appreciating her. For movie stars, it's true. Since we have the admiration for them, may be we expect them to be as good as they are on screen too.

SG said...

If I or anyone in my family need to have a life saving operation, I will go to the best doctor in the world - even if he is an AH.

Harman said...

I m same. For me a good human is very important .. REST TAKES A BACK SEAT..

Reflections said...

Not really...most of the time even tho I dont like somebody as a person I can appreciate when they do good work.
Infact actors themselves...I sometimes feel sad for the villians..they portray their characters so realistically tht I feel sorry for their kids esp the school-going ones who may hear so many negative things abt their parent & dont have the capacity to understand tht it is just a role their parents are playing[I dont knw if I'm making sense;-P].

Zephyr said...

Sometimes we don't have the choice of liking or not liking someone who is in a profession like medicine and we have to deal with them. In such a situation I would be happy if he is qualified enough unless of course I can go to another doctor. The rest is different. I would not like to befriend anyone who doesn't conform to my set of values. It applies to the virtual world too, but here it becomes tricky and is easy to make mistakes.

Bikramjit said...

depends , I know of a few who are such idiots to work with, I hate to work with them but when you meet them outside after works they are GEM of a person ..

I dont know why the two faces

Bikram's

Renu said...

Chatty wren: yea, we cant say whether blooggers are true, but whatevr facad they creat thru their blogs, thats what my parameter is:)

My Journey: Looks like you are very sorted out at such a young age..good:)

Haddock:.it should be like that only...but I am like that.if I see a person behaving unkindly with a person(specially unprivileged one)..my handle goes off, now I cant respect him even for his good qualities..

Anil Kurup: yes it is..Thats why I mentioned it:)..
seeing a mirror..thats a must, and i always try to be a good human being first than a daughter, wife mother or anything else..thats my life moto..

Happy kittnen..No I am not perfectionist:)..I am very clumsy in many things,but being human is very important to me...

goingbeyondthepages:..that should be true, but there are some people who write interesting blogs, but I dont agree with their ideology otherwise:)

rama:I always wonder.should I change?...and I am not sure about that.

Amrita: You have echoed my thoughts..exactly the same way I think..one more instance of we being similar in nature:)

Found in Folsum: May be being a housewife, I am thinking like that, but those in professional lives cant manage like that..I cant keep a maid who is rude,no matter what other qualities she has..


SG: yes in that way doctors are different, but only in emergencies, otherwise I look for a doctor who is kind to me not rude and abrupt..

Harman:Thank god some people are there like me:)

Reflections:I can appreciate good work, but i cant like a person who is not good.

Bikram; i will treat them as gems only:)



Rahul Bhatia said...

Certainly, person first:)

sm said...

its very difficult to know the real person inside
People say something and do something

SRS said...

I feel the same way too..once an opinion is formed about someone it is tough for me to change it! Sometimes I feel I am too prejudiced but then I think that this approach works for some of us who think from the heart at times! I have been hurt plenty of times before cos I have had respect for many people and later found out that these guys actually take me for granted.....shows the difference between how we think and what others think and feel....so i feel my approach of forming opinions actually works for me. Even then I end up being hurt or disappointed a lot...

rudraprayaga said...

Nice thinking.Yes,mostly it is like that. But some people are very cunning to hide originality of their character.

ashok said...

happy Diwali

Renu said...

Rahul bhatia:.:)I have company..

sm: sometimes there is no harm in taking at face value.

SRS..dont feel dissappointed, we do everything acoording to our values, so do the others, if they dont have any values, why should we bother it?

Rudraprayaga; let them be, they are digging their own grave.

Ashok: Thanks! and wish you too..

Rahul Aggarwal said...

the same goes for me as well .. i do not judge a person from his profession but from his behavior...

Renu said...

Rahul Agarwal: I am happy to know:)