Sunday, June 22, 2014

Is it true?

Yesterday i was reading Neetu Singh's interview.At one place she says that her daughter has learned everything from her behaviour like how she behaved with her MIL....

Now I know  some girls who...

Always give only spoiled food to their MIL and sometime dont want to give even that, whereas themselves they feast all the time..

Some always humiliate and insult their MILs even if they are always doing something for them..

some are downright rude and lazy

Some dont care for their husbands even...

So can we think that their mothers would be like that and since they have seen that atmosphere like that in their family, they are doing it.Earlier i had a strong conviction that if you want a good girl in your family then see how her mother is..but not any more..Because if there are 3-4 sisters, they are all different..so parents make a difference, but there are certain habits which are individual's...
Today in so many things my daughter says she is like me or she has learned it from me, but even then, I cant take credit for her perfect nature.

But it is also true that she brings me lot of appreciation wherever she goes or from her inlaws even..and I feel lucky to be a mother to such daughter....and feel sad for those who have brought up the girls above..in their zeal to bring equality and pampering to girls, they forgot to make them a good human being , or a woman even, because to me being a woman means..caring sharing, being compassionate....

18 comments:

Bikram said...

well I dont know what to say here yes we learn from our parents .. but then maybe something what they did was wrong so we need to differentiate that too .. because when we have kids and they grow up then they might do the same to us

Bikram

SG said...

Your daughter is lucky to get a mother like you.

Renu said...

Bikram: Most of the time I see that children are blind as far as their parents are concerned..and thats the reason they nevr learn or get better..

SG: I think I am lucky to get a daughter like her, because when I see today's girls,if I had someone like that..I couldnt live peacefully..

sweetyshinde said...

What about the son? Does he have no responsibility towards his parents?
For that matter, how many sons would tolerate the tantrums, possessiveness or authority of their in-laws (if ever in the future, the girls' parents also stay with them)? Why are the girl's parents less important than the boy's?
I am not married, thankfully. But I still think we glorify the boy's parents far too much.

sm said...

respecting elders humanity caring and equality everything is important
yes i think the daughter and son both become like their parents in majority cases

Renu said...

Sweety Shinde:..you are getting away from the topic...I cant cover everything in one post..here tell me whats your reaction on what I am saying....are these situations good or those who are doing so are right?..we cant say that since someone else is stealing, so stealing is not a bad thing..what is bad for gander cant be good for geese...
Today boy's parents are pitied not glorified..

SM:Thanks..for understanding my point..about children becoming like parents, I think ..sometimes yes, but most of theimes they are their own individuals..

Ash said...

Aunty, there are plenty of MILs and FILs who treat their son's wives very poorly, and the son does nothing in her defence.

There are plenty of sons and husbands and sons-in-law who treat their parents and wives and in-laws poorly.

In my opinion, the point shouldn't be about bringing up a good daughter... it is about bringing up a good human being, who is kind and courteous to others, regardless of age or family relationships.

On a slightly divergent note... You can't respect someone you don't feel it for, respect comes from within, and is earned by the other person based on their actions. My team has worked with elderly persons, and in many cases, we find that their own actions, rigidity, and condescending behavior do them more good them harm. You get what you give. Which is why, we should bring up our children to be good and kind human beings.

There is nothing wrong, I believe, in letting women know they are equal in standing to men. They are. And this does not mean telling them that men are bad or lesser beings. The right approach to this will not breed malice in womens' hearts, it would likely breed goodness and respect towards everyone, regardless or age, gender, or relationship.

Enigma said...

No matter how the parents have brought their kids up, it's upto the individual to choose the right/wrong path.

I have seen many parents who have dedicated their lives for their children but their children turn out to be idiots(I was going to use a much worse term). And also the opposite.
Like, father is a drunkard, mother doesn't care but the child has grown up to be a good, almost perfect individual.

Not saying that bringing up doesn't matter but the ultimate decision lies with the individual itself. :)

P.S. - Am sure you are a great mother and your daughter is a great daughter.

Renu said...

Ash: Yes you are right, I have said this earlier also that being a good human is more important than good relations..In this post I have tried to take one relation, just to make my point clear...There is nothing wrong in being equal but everything wrong in being uncaring and selfish, and I see the girls becoming rude and selfish....

Enigma:First..I am so happy to see you here after a long time:)
..What you say is true..I also feel the same way...

I am not a great, just blessed to have two children who are both good human beings first..

Ash said...

I meant do more *harm than good* in my third para.... excuse the typo :)

I see both women and men who are rude and selfish, aunty :( ... unfortunately, men have always been an entitled species in our society, so their misbehavior is often seen as acceptable. No one has the right to be rude or cause others harm. Gender is irrelevant.

Dilip said...

Another thought provoking theme. Relationship and behaviour between parents make a deep impact on kids and children in their formative stages.Building values in children in subtle ways will also help.

Dilip said...

Another thought provoking theme. Relationship and behaviour between parents make a deep impact on kids and children in their formative stages.

Building values in children in subtle ways can also help.

Jeevan said...

Following blindfold isn't good, what seems to be right for mother couldn't be actually.

Renu said...

Ash:..yes men women both are good and bad..as you said..men have been..but now all that is passe..today i see more girls who are haughty and selfish, than boys,but that doesnt mean i condone men for being rude..wrong is wrong,whosoever does it..but god has made women special and if they loose thei basic, I feel sad..

Dilip: Yes values can be instilled by parents only but many other things are children's own.

Jeevan:That's what I want to say:)


Ankita said...

if a woman is not caring and compassionate, despite being highly educated, she can never earn respect. I agree with the points. Riddhima Kapoor is really lovely, I find her far more beautiful than Kareena Kapoor.

Renu said...

Ankita:Thanks Ankita!..even I think so:)

Salomie said...

In many cases, 'like mother like daughter' may be true, but exceptions are always there. And like you mentioned when there 2 or more sisters, it's not necessary each turns out like the mother (I have living proof of this in my family …. you may have the best parents but still turn out horribly as an adult). I think parental upbringing is only a part of what makes you, the large part of your character is how you choose to use that upbringing.

Renu said...

Salomie:..Thats what i feel that people unnecessarily give too much importance to parental effect..most of the part is individual's own genes and perception.