Monday, October 31, 2011


Diwali is awaited with so so much of enthusiasm and now its gone:(.and it is synonymous with gifts.Dont know why but I am not a gracious person while accepting gifts, I feel very awkward too.So many times I keep mulling that from the next year i will take a vow not to accept anything from anyone..then postpone it for another year:).Actually now at my age I dont want to take anything..I just want to give..though my hubby says that if you dont take, then you cant give also:)

Lot many people decide the type and amount of gift depending on the status of recipient,rich people get opulent gifts,whereas not so make do with ordinary things. whereas I think gifts should be decided by the status of the person who si giving..and I keep thinking that I must have that uniformity in mind, but then mind starts thinking that wouldnt it be injustice to a person who is giving you more? and I am always in a confusion about what is right..and if  are you are reading my blog regularly, you must be knowing by now that I have this fetish for doing the right thing always.To me being righteous and fair is very important...and on the other hand I dont like to be taken for granted too.

So what do you think is the right way?..Should we always reciprocate only? or should we keep giving even if some people dont?


Bhagyashree said...

Tough!! I am always in a quandary about what to give. I think that what is needed should be given. But then how do we know what the other person wants. Also what we think that a person needs may not always be liked by them.
Sorry I am not able to help u on this as I myself am so confused.

sm said...

nice post
i think if we reject the gift the friend or family will be upset, thus no option but to accept it or try to politely reject and 2nd is when we plan to give gifts only gift the books or educational CDs and DVds no
sweets its silent poison

Rachna said...

I give the gifts as a gesture irrespective of whether the other person reciprocates. These days chocolate boxes or crockery items are safer bets.

Ellen said...

My dear Renu,

Giving is normally not a big problem with people who know how to give. It's when giving comes from the heart, irregardless of wealth or stature, that giving becomes the true joy and pleasure that it should be.

Rest easy, my friend, cos giving to a warm friendly person like you is such a pleasure. I guess that is what your friends are telling you with their gifts from their hearts.

Blessings to you and your family.

rama said...

In our community, there is neither giving nor taking of gifts.We give when we we feel like giving , like giving it to somebody we really care for and love them, it doesn't matter whether they give back or not. And as for receiving, we accept without making a fuss, so that the giver feels happy.
And it also depends we need not reciprocate every time we receive some gifts, for we know that nobody is going to feel bad, for if a person gives some gift from the heart, he/ she gives it with no expectation.

A said...

I ask for 'Peace of mind' as gift. No string attached with the gift with no pressure on other party to return anything. Give love and blessings and a small token....

Harman said...

its more a reciprocal ..
to my mind ...Gifts are best if one enjoys and remembers you more often the best gift given.

Sandhya said...

I take lot of effort to select gifts for my relatives and friends. Just the sake of giving gifts is not acceptable for me. They should use the gift we give, I feel. Otherwise, the money will go to dustbin!

Nowadays, I too feel awkward to take gifts. Half the time I don't know what to do with them. I don't like to waste others' money too. So most of the time, I tell people not to give me anything. Their presence is more than enough.

Arti said...

It all depends on your equation with the person in question. Like if there is someone younger than you, then you can give. And not take from a younger relative and vica versa...

Rakesh Kumar said...

I think conception of gift is 'out of love and affection' and which is given with free will or voluntarily.

So,every gift should be reciprocated
primarily with love, honour and considering the situation and occasion.

Thanks for a nice post, Renu ji.

If find time,please visit my blog.

Jyothi said...

Good Question! I think we should avoid gifts! It's such a nightmare deciding what to buy, where to buy, how much to buy for, what will people think, will they like it! Phew! Its like getting a nervous breakdown! Flowers, sweets and love. I think these say a lot and don't cost all that much. :)

Renu said...

Bhagyashree:.but I think that things which are needed, one could buy oneself only, so gift should fill the wants:)

sm: thats a fantastic idea:)

Rachna: yeah its ideal.

Ellen:thanks Ellen! is a pleasure only if its accepted with love, bur if people start thinking in terms of money,it becomes a pain.

rama:actually while giving to someone, deciding on the amount to be spent is a big problem.thats what the dilemma much is right? should it be according the occasion, or the status of the person who is giving or taking?

A: If all people start thinking like that life would be a bliss.

Harman: thats another ideal thing..

Sandhya: we are so much alike:)...

Arti:thats what I was thinking:)

Rakesh this materialist world, people honour material gifts more than the feelings.

Time is one commodity I have in plenty:) so will cetainly visit your blog.

Jyothi: me too think so.

Kanupriya said...

Hmmm... True exchanging gifts is indeed a tricky thing. I generally follow two things while giving gifts: 1. give something which will represent me, make the other person remember me and 2. give it out of love, with an open heart and the giving should make me happy :)

Amrita said...

Oh Gosh!! Such a tough one!! And something i dont relate to much, because i am a bit cut off from gifting culture.. as in i dont receive and i dont need to give any.
But then when I do, i do take the effort to reciprocate in the same money value. Other times, it totally depends on my feelings for the person. If i love the person more i go to any extent and make the max effort to get stuff he/she likes. More than amount i feel its the thought that always matters in gifts. I have a simple hand made potrait from a friend of mine, which i cherish to no end... so there you go totally depends.
But in more formal relationships, it might get a tad difficult i believe :(

Renu said...

Amrita: You are better off:)..what I dont like personally is that be it relations or aquaintances or friends, people tend to give gifts acoording to the receipients financial richer the person, better the gift..

kanupriya:those criterias are best..I also feel that the gift must represent my choice and way of living...nothing else, neither the status of the recepient,nor the gift he/she gave.

Rhapsody B. said...


I remember we use to celebrate Diwali in Trinidad but it was never about gifts (at least i don't recall) it was about community, celebration. I remember we use to line the outside of our house, stairs and walkway with lights, gather with friends, eat and talk long into the night.

Maybe i missed something? Gifts?

have a great day.

Happy Kitten said...

Me and gifts have parted ways since a long time but some birthdays do find me lucky..

Gifts ought to be given from the heart if one is giving..but I guess even this act is losing it's meaning..

Tassu said...

Well I think yes if you want to continue the trend of exchanging gifts with a set of people then you have no option but to reciprocate BUT if you really want to stop this formal trend of exchanging gifts even when you don't want it then you have to stop giving as well.I mean you can decline it respectfully.That way they will know you don't want to continue the trend.It is quite possible others also want to stop this but out of shame keep buying and giving gifts.So why don't you take the bold step?Yep definitely you can give gifts to those Only whom you realllyyy want to give.It may not be in diwali alone, any day you can give them.As per needs are concern I think what may liked by all could be a house decor item , a book or a piece of fabric ,anything.
CHeck this if you wish -
Your Gift Personality
Which gift would you like?

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