Today I saw the paper and two news totally crushed me..

First..a child was given IV fluid infected with insects and mosquitoes in Cuttack in a premiere hospital. And when his father complained nobody took notice immediately and he had to remove it himself and now hospital authorities will take action only when reports are filed.....:(:(..very sad situation, whats happening....Here its not the lack of money but ethics, a commitment to your profession and integrity is lacking.Even in a developing country we can  have the shortage of anything but incidents like this show that we have shortage of humans..or people who are normal..means people who justify their salaries or work honestly in their job...we lack in those quarters.

Next was...a techie committed suicide, he married without his parent's consent and so his parents told all their relatives that their son has gone to Australia, then his wife posted wedding pictures on FB, all relatives saw and bombarded them with their queries, so they asked him to ask his wife to remove, but she didnt saying that it wasn't wrong....and a young life was wasted..what for...
And here if the girl had done it, her family would have blamed the boy and her family and she herself would have left some letter or something blaming them, but here the boy had written saying..nobody is responsible for his action..which is true..Nobody is responsible for adult's actions..He should have divorced or sorted out whatever....

I always feel that marriage is THE most important decision of every one's life and should be taken  with lot of thinking....People should give more importance to similar values, life style and family background then to mutual attraction

Instead of asking each other about hobbies, favourite books, movies or tourist destinations, they should ask what each other's expectations are from marriage, what they can do for each other and what they wont.what are their limits....yes its very important, though its not a guarantee but a precaution.

Now a days everybody decries dowry, inlaws and men but my experience says....

Most of the girls dont want their parents to give dowry and disrespect their inlaws if they take, BUT I am yet to see a girl value her inlaws and give them respect, if they didnt take dowry voluntarily.....

I used to be idealistic and think that financial status should nt have any consideration in marriages, but I have seen that if the girl is marrying higher in a more affluent family then her parents,, she gets more arrogant and uncompromising then the girls from affluent  families.

so i think that for a harmonious family, one should marry  a girl from a similar financial back ground and similar values too.Earlier in our families elders used to say that they will marry their sons only with familiar and similar families and youngsters used to feel its all because of money.No it is seen that people with similar background are more compatible and marrying without family's consent brings lot of stress in life, so take it only if both of you are strong enough to bear it.


Ankita said…
Both the news items disturbed me when I read them today mrg on TOI website. The first case is that of gross negligence while the other is of complete foolishness to handle a mature relationship like marriage. That techie, if was going in a love match should have had enough courage to face the world. What his wife did was right, there is no point hiding the news from friends and relatives.

Also, I think maturity matters and not similar background for a successful marriage.
So true Renu. So many similar incidents taking place regularly in our society. Saddening :(

To your thought on financial compatibility, I will add educational compatibility as well. One of those things that I remember my Grand Father telling me. The way you think about so many things in life is determined by your education. And if there is a huge gap on this front, you are inviting trouble.
Renu said…
Ankita, I dont agree that that girl is right. Marriage is a serious thing and it doesnt run with such small rights and wrongs but sensitivity towards each other..In a marriage like this battles much be chosen with lot of thought and thing swhich hardly matter one should be what is the result..would she be happy now?.I mean if she really loved him...

Ruminating Optimist:Yes your father is right, education is very important,and very important tool to bring compatibility..
Ankita said…
Hi Renu

Even if that techie had married a girl from a similar background,even then he would have done the same thing, maybe on some other trivial matter. He lacked the maturity to handle this relationship. As for the girl, she only posted the truth on her FB...what else has she done? That's why I do not blame the girl. She is facing all this only because she fell in love with a guy so wimpy and kiddish who could not gather enough courage to tell his family the truth.
Renu said…
Ankita: True he was immature, but he only lost his life na...where is love in all this?

In life sometimes truth is not the only important thing, but to be sensitive towards your family, people you love.

They were married only 6 months, she should have patience to see where this all goes, may be after sometime if she couldnt tolerate anything, it was ok, but being impatient so early in marriage make her also very immature and selfish also, as she thought of her point of view only, not what effects it may have on others.

For being a good human being one has to care for one's loved ones too..

SG: very sad..

Reflections said…
Instead of asking each other about hobbies, favourite books, movies or tourist destinations, they should ask what each other's expectations are from marriage, what they can do for each other and what they wont.what are their limits....yes its very important, though its not a guarantee but a precaution."

Agree & agree with ruminating optimists comment too tht education compatibility is important.
Asha said…
Yes renu, there is a growing unrest, lack of dedication, lack of patience, understanding, lack of maturity everywhere. In short, everybody is in a tearing hurry to make riches and enjoy life sacrificing ethics.

Here in the second situation about the boy, there is something more fishy than the girl posting the photos. They got married in july and the boy has already posted their wedding photos in FB and commented( i saw the link through a friend's page) to all the congratulatory messages. I agree with you that the girl could have been little understanding.She must have perhaps felt insecure. But here the boy is equally at fault. He is a management graduate and an HR, he should have known better to handle the situation by being mature. Of what use is education then if one does not know to handle the situation or crisis? When he is bold enough to marry against parents wishes can't he own the responsiblity? HE too could have been patient. According to me both are at fault.
Renu said…
Reflections:Yes Nancy,...I always wish I could do something to save those lives:(

Asha: Yes Asha, he is at fault no doubt, but loosing a life is more important than anything else..

I am not pointing fingers, only trying to find a way where we could save such lives..
@ Asha, "tearing hurry to make riches and enjoy life sacrificing ethics" ... totally agree :(
Will add sacrificing sense of responsibility and duty to that!

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