Tuesday, December 28, 2010


I have seen that most of the women when they cross 50 start thinking about their past and reminiscing about their youth. Now you are going to say that being nostalgic is so common to everybody, past always seems to be better..no. but here comes the catch:)..they remember more about the crushes, who were the boys after them(or they were after them?), how popular they were( even if nobody liked them:). And today if anybody wants to maintain friendship and if the person is from the opposite gender, then its their attraction which is still working.....some go to the length to exaggerate, how much they are liked in society and by others.

What is the thought process behind it? is it the fear of growing old? or growing unattractive? or some complex is growing inside of feeling unwanted?

I have always felt that appreciation and praise if any should come from others..blowing your own trumpet is so ..not very appealing ?
Secondly if people age gracefully and behave accordingly, neither they are neglected nor look unattractive. Because after a certain age, nobody looks at your clothes or figure or jewellery, but your deeds.and your heart. And a good heart always reflects on your face and brings dignity to it..One must take pride not in physical appearances or materialistic things, but in being compassionate and kind.
Just the other day some one was telling me..that aged people face many problems, I said..true, but most of them are because of their attitude towards life.My feeling is that....with age we must look inward,instead of indulging and desiring everything young people do,because we bring misery to us, as well as our family.Yes if one is physically and financially sound, and can manage his/ her indulgence, fine do it, but never do it at the cost of bringing problems in other's life,be it your children or other family memebrs.Instead we must be satisfied with little and devote ourselves to society and god.God has given us four stages of life.

In our child hood we indulge and parents pamper us.first 20 years
In our youth we work hard to make our life..next 20 years
Now we enjoy the fruit of our labour..next 20 years
Now is the time to give back to society and others, and our aim should be to give,  to do and make others happy.


Ani said...

well i think i am still in my youth and trying to work hard.. but i sometimes i feel i am too old even for my age.. miss the days that i was child and everyone around me used to look after me.. but then there are occasions now that ppl end up pampering me.. and thats make me feel special.. i guess thats wht life is all about .. making one self feel happy about one self.. be what ever age :)

advance wishes for the new year to come :)

Amrita said...

Yes Renu, you said, age is something which should be accepted gracefully and with dignity. And what you said is so true, your inner beauty just radiates, no matter if you slog in the gym or not,even if you do simple yoga and are good in thoughts, you vibrate that charm. And such people naturally command respect. :)

Wish you an amazing year to come Renu. Its a honor and a pleasure knowing you!

chitra said...

Renu, yesterday I was discussing about this topic, ageing gracefully with my cousin .It's an attitude, nothing else,how we think and how we want to live.

Renu said...

Ani: what a pleasure indeed to see you here!1.Do I need to say anything more:).yes feel happy with yourself and world is a beautiful place.

Amrita:Amrita, this is my practical experience, those who are kind have a certain halo around them, and those who are after only pleasures of life, they dont make you feel any respect towards them.
aur mujhe chane ke jhaad par mat chadao:)
I heartily reciprocate the feelings.

Chitra:.yes chitra, its our attitude to life which makes things difficult or pleasant and attitude must change with age.

Shrutzz said...

I have seen both category of people. 1. who are still thinking of their outer looks and other who are behaving as per the age and let going of things which doesnt suit the older version anymore...

I feel with every passing age, our attitude should be tailored and bring out the classiness and Dignity!

Renu said...

Shrutzz: true..I see , so many people overtly interested in either food or clothes, its irritating.

rama said...

I think it is all in the mind. I feel we should not judge people by their looks. There are people who like to experiment with different colors on their hair, wear makeup very artistically, carry themselves well, whatever maybe their age, I never fail to admire such people, and I also admire people who have let their hair remain grey, and still look absolutely beautiful like Nafisa Ali, the person who won the the Miss India contest in the 70s.
She is only 1 year older than me, yet she looks really very dignified and so beautiful. Then there is Rekha, Simi and Waheeda Rehman, and many others among my friends too.
So I feel it doesn't matter what is your age and how you choose to dress as long as you feel healthy and young at heart.

gayatri said...

First time here! Got it from Searching Self. This post will surely make the readers poinder, where they stand..at least if they are at my stage of life :-)

I feel that as we age, our knowledge and experiences adds to the beauty and makes the person even desirable. Sure, we loose a lot of delicacy and innocence in the process. Every stage has its own flavor, but, they are flavorful, nonetheless!

Amazingly..you've referred to the four stages of life too..that my MiL and my mom mentioned about. They refers to them, in terms of animals although they have different animals to refer to.

I was i awe of my MiL, when she told us, that she is in the Dog's stage..so accepting of her situation. Got a lot of learn from them and from experience..

I had written a blog on this..if you care to read


Tara said...

Its all about the attitude! Be it old or young. Views towards life plays the role !

sm said...

aging gracefully
well written
yes it depends on how we look at the life

AS said...

A good summarization, But i would say ..
May be the 20 years span is long. How about thinking it at 5 years blocks. Setting 20 years target is near impossible in the changing scenarios.
The give back principle should start from the youth. Then only it will work when you are old. The essence and pleasure of giving needs to be understood when young.

Insignia said...

Its a different thing to being like a child. And its entirely different thing to look younger. Trying different gimmicks to fake a younger age is cheap and shows up. Aging gracefully commands respect :)

Renu said...

Rama:..yes, we are as young or old as we feel. I think I couldnt express well what I wanted to say. I meant to say that do whatever you can, but never ever become a problem for your family because of your any indulgence be it in food, clothes or anything else. At that age we must not impinge upon other's freedom to live.

Gayatrei.welcome here! Whatevr the name you give, but that stage is there and we must accept it gracefully and be a pleasure to everyone around, not a poroblem.

Tara & sm:..yes its about our attitude to life. Some people think that its all about themselves only while some think of others too.

AS: I take it for granted that bwe must teach our children the principle of sharing and giving and it should be a part of life, but after sixty, it should be the main LIFE:)

insignia:I have seen people looking ridiculous and funny, dressing and behaving like a 20 something, whereas they are pushing 50:)

Jon said...

'Feeling of being unwanted'...i think this is what prompts us to do things which we wouldnt do otherwise.

I feel that's independent of age...when you lose ur job, ur functionality, ur academic pursuits
There was a time when our society had use with the elderly, now have they became showcase items. Do we make them feel wanted?

Rachna said...

Hi Renu,

Very rightly said -- age gracefully. I sort of agree with rama. There are people who invest a lot in the way they look, yet there are others who strike you due to their warm approach or personality. I feel it is basically being happy with yourself. Contentment is the key. If it makes you happy to gym, do it. If you are healthy and plump, that's fine too. Just accept what you are with grace!

Bikramjit said...

Well I genuinly feel that age is nothing its jsut another number, It depends on ones heart.. I still do stuff wat i did when i was in school , play hockey-cricket and all...

Go to the gym jsut ot make sure i can keep the ONE PACK.. :) thats the only reason and i do that for myself if someone doesnot like there problem..


A said...


Very well written and thoughtful post.

Renu said...

A:.you are right, as long as we are useful we are valued. But then even elders do nothing to bring harmony in life, they just expect...If MILs will love and care for their DIL when she enters the family, then may be they can get some some respect in their old age, but they would do nothing of the sort when its their time, but when their time comes to take, theyare ready.

Rachna:I think my views didnt come out as I wanted them to be, I will explain in the next post:)

Bikram: even I admire those who look after themselves,I couldnt explain myself rightly, will do in the next one:)

dr.antony said...

Women seem to be unduly worried about the fading youth.
The important thing is to accept realities in life and come to terms.Aging gracefully is something that needs to be appreciated. I have seen many such people.

Sandhya said...

Everything is in our mind, Renu! If we think we are aging and don't have much time left to live and expect everyone to respect us for our age, etc. then we feel aged!

We have to keep ourselves occupied and should never expect others to pamper us because of our 'age', then nothing will trouble us.

Good points, here, Renu, enjoyed reading it!

Tomz said...

sorry for taking this much long time to visit and post comments here..Its a wonderful knowledge as far as i am concerned that in old age women tend to think about their teenage crushes and love affairs..well..i have to check what the men will think once I reach my old age..

Neena Sharma said...

"Elders get respect if they are generous with their mind , not only with their age"...well-said!

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