Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Dowry decoded

I have seen many people demanding reservation , sometimes for women or under privileged for bringing them equality. But I feel that asking for privileges and then saying we are equal is a total contradictory. The way we say that respect is commanded , not demanded( though in certain situations it is demanded), same way we cant demand equality, we must command thru our abilities and capabilities.

We always feel the need to have laws and rules for everything and think that may be then change will come but change has to come from within..For example everybody decries dowry but but how many people...

Say no when it comes to marry their sons, ,,why dowry is bad only when you are marrying daughter?

If we start thinking differently and instead of giving all our attention and money for marrying our daughter, we educate her, let her stand on her own feet..economically and then think about marrying a person who is like minded, educated with a good character, not with a fat package or status parents....yes, if you see the parents of girls, they and the girls themselves are also at fault..while marrying they want a boy from an established family with fat salary, why cant they depend on their own capabilities to earn and be satisfied with what they earn...

The change has to be all around..Dowry is not a gender issue or economic one..its social thinking...greed for free money,materialism and respect given to rich people...so we have to change all that, bring goodness to life..its not all about money and social status...big villas and cars...The day we learn to pride in taking only what we earn thru hard work..no freebies from anyone..we will rise.


9 comments:

proactiveindian.com said...

Eradicating dowry, or any social ill for that matter, requires a change in mindset. Unfortunately, our mindset towards any social ill depends on whether we have the upper hand or whether we are the underdog.
You may like to read http://proactiveindian.com/2013/11/23/no-more-hypocrisy/

Jeevan said...

Very true! The fault lies on both sides of the parents of bride groom. The anticipation is lot more than they deserves. Doesn't being skillful, educated and lovable enough to survive comfort? The money and wealth could be nothing in front of unpredictable world. But nothing gives the feel of content standing and earning on our own!

SG said...

When brother, who lived in a foreign country, did not want any dowry, many girls' side thought there was something wrong with him.

Renu said...

Proactiveindian.com: we always try to find fault in the other side and blame them..

Jeevan: Very true!

SG: Same happened when I was scouting girls for my son..

sm said...

excellent article
dowry its part parcel of our culture society
and our dowry law is faulty that is reason still everyone demands dowry
gave me new thoughts to write article

indu chhibber said...

What started as a token of affection and a helping hand for a young couple has now become a menace.It is also a means of showcasing the affluence of the family.

radha said...

And apart from the dowry, there are demands for the girl to be well educated and with a good job. But the change is happening.

Avada Kedavra said...

Exactly what I feel. Instead of pouring savings on your daughter's marriage and then see her leading a miserable life, why not invest the same money on her education, make her independent in life?! I was completely against dowry and so was husband, so there was no question of any giving in my marriage.

Renu said...

sm: There is another side too..many girls and their families are exploiting boys too..

Indu Chhibber: True, but what i wanted to convey is this..that girls family and their attitude are equally responsible for this evil tradition.

Avada Kedavra: yes if girls are standing on their own feet and marriage is not their only aim in life, many problems can be solved.