Saturday, September 24, 2011

75Th year celebration

yesterday we had a 75th year celebration of a senior person and it was such an emotional experience as his son planned everything sitting in US and came here suddenly and gave him a surprise, now coming from abroad is not such a big thing for wealthy families, but just the thought that someone took so much of interest in something to make his father happy..that was special.
And yesterday in the same hotel.Chennai super kings and Mumbai Indians were also staying:), though i am not fond of cricket, but as for far as getting a chance to see any celebrity is concerned, i am no different...but alas, could see their bags only:).
One4 thing I have seen about myself that i am very particular about treating everybody well and with respect, but if someone misbehaves with me inspite of that, my anger knows no boundaries, I get furious and if I could I would kick that person out..today i did it.you see
I had a maid who is a widow and quite poor, so she had a very special place in my heart and I used to go all the way to help her and be accommodating,
she wanted to go to her daughter's for 12 days for delivery, I said fine,
 if she got sick or had anything else, I dint mind at all...thats with me, I dont mind my servants taking leave, and I never deduct their salaries too, the only condition is that take leave with prior information to me
I went abroad and she couldnt come at changed timings, even that was fine,
she wanted advance for three months, I gave her
but now she said she would come late ,very late because she had to fetch a girl from school in the other house she is working..now that s not my concern, and on top of that when I got angry she said I am free to keep any other one if I am not happy..that just flew my handle..if one is wrong, one must be polite,on one hand you are taking advantage from someone,on the other hand, you are trying to be arrogant,and then when i said..work to pay off my advance and then leave, she had the guts to say that she will leave now and pay my advance even if she had to pawn something....as if I am at fault....why people behave like that....being in the wrong and then arrogant.its sure combination for disaster..anywhere everywhere....
I have felt that labour is not in that position because of their exploitation only, they dont rise because they dont have that sincerity and integrity towards their job, which educated people have..they take their profession very lightly..everything else.... neighbour's funeral, marriage of a distant relative or any function in their village,all are very important, its only their employer who can be taken for granted...and they keep going in job from this person to another.and most of the time they consider kind people as naive ones who can be taken advantage of..
And rudesness and arrogance in a guilty person totally puts me off..sent her home:)

17 comments:

Bikramjit said...

True what u say about labour. They are really very arrogant sometimes its also people think a lot of them the so called do gooders.

I hope you get rid of her and get a better one. Who is sincere and loyal .. These days ots difficult to find someone loyal.

KParthasarathi said...

It is very nice and considerate of the son to make his dad happy on his 75th birthday.
Yes, the problem with maids taking advantage of their employers' kindness is rampant.They just do not have any work ethics save their comfort and convenience but expect no reduction in their wages.It is mostly one way.

Harman said...

its Bad thou..I understand and also agree..we living here in US who do everything ourself..cleaning..laundry..dish washing and leaving kids to school ..picking them up and then office..then ..meals to be prepared ..and that too Indian food hell takes lot of time ...
now its very normal and usual for us.. ,maybe we r habitual ...
So to sum up I would say ..try doin it yourself ...even if its with help of appliances rather then depending on these maids who have ..Airs and dun care attitude,,,its better to let off go...

Ellen said...

I can understand how you feel. Have been in the same situation before. But then I have learned too that it takes all kinds that fill up this life and world... both the good and the bad. Yin and Yang.

We see in the world around us that those who have less in life tend to fiercely cling to the principle of survival at any cost. Even at the expense of their own dignity and self-respect. The refinements of character or social graces, the little or much they know of it, are sacrificed in their efforts to create whatever sense or meaning can be accorded their sparse life.

Perhaps we are asked to see through that flimsy facade of excuses and understand the deeper need behind it. Everything has its core reason.

I like and appreciate your observations on life, people, and living. You tell it in an honest way. Have a good and blessed day. :-)

Renu said...

Bikram:That way I have seen that most of the time I ma reluctant to chuck them, but whenevr I do, I always get a better one:)
divine justice:)

Kparthsarthi:yes, they are totally without any ethics...

Ellen: yes, mostly I see the people who are dependent on others are very arrogant, whereas those who do are polite
Its ok to have that survival instinct,as they cant manage without it, but here she is putting it to peril by leaving the job that is most beneficial to her..
You are right that they must be having their own reasons behind it..but expecting others to see them without telling is I think too much to take for granted.

Thanks Ellen for the appreciation!!!

deeps said...

He must be a proud dad 
And I would say, learn from that father who must have toiled hard for his son … he in turn now shows his gratitude…..
The second incident…well…just wondering what must have gone wrong!!

Kirti said...

Some poor do not want to be called poor. . . . . and do not want to be called rich either.
They want equal status. If you show generosity they think that it is arrogant show of wealth. And they dare to defend their "dignity" to any extent.
Definitely, many rich are down to earth. They do show that they care for their parents and have values and give special moments to their parents.

Rachna Parmar said...

I guess there are good maids and bad maids and good employers and bad employers. There are some people who really trouble these maids, and there are some maids who are hopelessly selfish and just treat their employers as people meant to be milked.

sm said...

yes its happening everywhere pay advance then also no happiness and if do not pay advance then also no happiness.

bjigya said...

Giving advance pay is sure shot way of losing your maid :) , saw it so many times now! With 3 months advance.. ye to hona hi tha... But I understand, one's heart melts with kindness and one give advance.. but result is always bitter like you related. What to do... it is difficult to be hard-hearted for women esp.

A said...

About labor:- At my brother's house we offered a girl to take care of education expenses if she goes to school in the morning before coming to work there. She refused. Made several attempts yet she refused. No clue how sometimes people react.

Renu said...

deeps:He was really proud and very pleasantly surprised, at 75, he still works, though he doesnt need to, they are industrialist family, so money is not a consideration, but remaining active is a way of life to him.
I am also wondering, but seen it many times that maids give more perference to employers who are strict and exploit them than to those who are kind.

Rachna; yes Rachna there are, and these maids are illiterate, so dont know even which side of their bread is buttered.

sm: I can nevr say no, if they ever ask for money, because they dont have any other source, so where will they go what will they do..I do my own karma, and let them do theirs.

Bjigya: true.I get angry many times, but even then I nevr want to be unkind, because that would be changing myself for others:) and I have seen that whenevr I leave one, I always get a better one:)..god's justice.

Renu said...

Kirti: But I am very cordial to my maids, I nevr hurt their dignity, but then expect some ethics from them too.

A: same thing happened to me too I wanted to teach them, they wouldnt come, then I said I shall pay the fee, if you show me the receipt, but they didnt agree to that even..

Its not always true that they dont get opportunities, sometimes some are simply lazy and studies are too much for them

Happy Kitten said...

It is very normal that you got angry and it is justified too....

I think integrity, honesty etc. are traits which the poor cannot afford to practice. I have reached a stage myself where I no longer look for these qualities in any soul, but do feel very happy when I find it. Not that I am satisfied with myself :)

but I can understand that circumstances can force one to behave rudely and even forget the hands that feed them.
But then should we blame them, when we find that in the present times, such qualities are absent even from those who can afford them? Look around at our Netas, Babus etc.

Renu said...

Happy Kitten:but somewhere I feel that character and these qualities have no connection with money..either one has or doesnt..irrespective of riches.

Indian said...

I totally agree with what Rachna says. Its the difference in employers that causes this. Because of certain people who ill-treat and exploit their servants, the servants do not want to take any chance. They just want to be stubborn and rude from the beginning so that they don't give their boss a chance to exploit. My most favourite lines of yours are: "they dont rise because they dont have that sincerity and integrity towards their job"..they're happy with the money they get out of being rude and insincere. They don't realise that by being sincere they can earn more - more money and more love.

Renu said...

Indian:..true, they lack that intelligence to realise the difference in employers.