Wednesday, October 22, 2008


  • So many preconceived notions we have though slowly people are changing and in few things girls are hell bent upon changing the mindset of people:) I want to know why, why people think like that? These are few observations which are coming to my mind now and i have noticed them.........
  • Why a girl who is fashionable cant be brainy also?
  • why we always want men drivers? (cant put our life in the hands of a girl)
  • and in the house maid servants are prefered?
  • In my house whenevr any LIC agent or MF ppl come they want to talk to my H only, though i am equally knowledgable about finance and investments?
  • why people say--maruti is a girl's car,as if car is driven by physical force?
  • Scooter is for girls and bike for boys?
  • Why it is said that beauty and brains dont go together(nobody says that handsome boys cant be intelligent).
  • why in the movies, as long as the girl is bad she wears mod dresses, the day she starts changing, she comes to saree or salwar kameez? is the dress so important or what is inside?
  • Why a son-in-law, who takes his wife for vacations and pampers is a godsend gift but a DIL who wants to go out and be pampered is spoiled?
  • why if a woman sacrifices and does something for the society she is hailed as a great person, but doing the same thing for her family....and the family is exploiting her.
  • A girl is more adept at cooking and stitching॥means all these things while worldwide best designers, tailors and chef are men:)।
  • adding a few more
------------ The list can go on, but i want you people to add it your observations, so come on ,tell me......
adding a few more----and i am guilty of this----any technical problem...ask Papa, my daugher changed this attitude of mine, when she did her masters in computers she said--ma i can do this, and slowly slowly she cud do any and evrything and i realised that for most of the works, instead of physical strenght , sharp mind and patience is more required and gender has nothing to do with it:)
One more....anybodyganwar,simple and a villager is a good hearted honest person, and well dressed smart urban people are not.
anyon less educated or not at all is always better in everything than an educated girl---these are all filmy perceptions:)


Chriz said...

fashionable blonde girl - that is a myth that has creeped in and stayed in our minds for long...

women drive men at home.. so to balance the equation men drivers are appointed..

men servants will molest the kids..

The LIC agents know that theyc an fool men easily..

Maruti is a girls car - who said it?

and i had a bicycle.. that is unfair

i have two hands.. yes i have some brain too

which movie? i wanna see that..

Daughter-in law if she takes her hubby then its ok.. what if she wants to be taken out by her boyfriend? did you mean it that way?


and chefs... cos men brag a lot to the outside world...

(my answers were just to have a good time.. no to hurt anyones sentiments)

thank you for coming to my page.. i blogrolled you..

Jayashree said...

All of those questions irk me as well. Some more, in addition to those are:
Why are men asked "Where do you work" and women asked "Do you work"?
Why is it assumed that if a man and a woman are involved in an accident, it must be the woman's fault?

sukku said...

I think it has more to do with perception and I am sure what the girls are doing now is on par with the guys. I am sure you don't get this stereo typing in the West, guess it is the society that did the branding ages ago for their convenience...

Pixie said...

Oh! I LOVE your list!!
These stereotypes piss me off so badly!!
- how come when the wife goes an extra mile to take care of her family be considered her duty and if the husband does the same - its called "helping"

- how come women are judged on everything including the kids, her job, her reason to stay at home or work and the man can make the same decisions and not be judged at all?

- why is the wife's mother considered as interfering and the MIL isn't?

My list would go on and on!
Heh! Will stop now... :-)

Destination Infinity said...

That is an important point which you made - Is the dress more important than say, attitude? I have always wondered about that. Maybe the dress reflects the attitude to a certain level.... but I guess it depends on where we are born, brought up etc. to come to conclusions.... but still we make a lot of judgemental mistakes.... I don't know about the dress but the reaction of a person can tell a lot about what he thinks. For example, if a person shakes his head front and back to say 'yes', he means it.... if he shakes his head left and right, he is saying 'yes' but doesn't mean it. Try observing yourself in certain situation to test this!

Destination Infinity

PG said...

a good one! I like them all. :)
one more : why is it astill a woman's job to take care of the household whe n she is earnig the equally well as the hubby, why is it still expected of her, why aren't men not expected too to be an equal at home as well?

PG said...

BTW, I do know Hindi. I grew up in New Delhi and it is my mothertongue too.

Renu said...

Chriz. LOL!!! good answers, and there ar emany movies, i will tell u some time, presently can remember one--Ladla.
Ur profile photo is very cute.
I totally hated this notion that fashion and study dont go together, I did both well:).
And thanks for coming here and blog rolling me.

JAYSHREE: About the work, i can say its because here percentage of women working was quite low and its only in the recent yrs that it has increased, so it will take time to change the mind set.But when i was in Delhi-the first question my maid asked me was..r u working? because all the working people want the servant in the morning and for it was impossible:) so some benefit in staying home also:) and about the fault..yeah its MCP mind working:)

Sukku: some of these biased are there in the wesy also, have u ever see the serial--EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND-----all the situations and emotions are mostly same. and society is made from us only:)

Renu said...

PIXIE : What i have seen of today's generation...very few wives go out of the way:
About judging u r right but may be becuase, in india, marriage is still a family affair, not just about 2 individuls, and since girl comes from outside, she is judged:)

amd MILs are always interfering:) (called so),but having a patriarchial society boy/s mother is the head of the house and girl/s mother is a guest, I am talking about the tradition, not anything individual or personal.
So there will always be a difference not in the love, and care, but behaviour pattern.
and I dont think it can change drastically unless we shun the traditions baarat, nothing, get married and go to ur own house and do all these things urself.
I love the present situation, i am happy at my daughter looking after her inlaws and my DIl with me:)

DESTINATION INFINITY: I always felt very irritate4d with this attitude that any girl wearing modern dress is fast or gppd for nothing, ofcours I am taliking about my times.And for me being progressive doesnt mean wearing modern dress, i have sen many people with very progressive mind a simple life style, so there..........
if we shaking head from left to right that means we are saying no? isnt it?

PG: I think the norms are changing, boys are doing the house work also, and they should do it.They should be---jeevan saathi in the real sense:), like I tell u, i am a housewife, aur kitna bhi kaam ho, i dont work for more than 4-5 hrs. and my H works for 10 hrs and still some ppl used to suggest e--why cant he help u?, but I wudnt want him to.....let me first do 10 hrs like him and after that if somehing is left, I will ask him, not that my H will ever say no for anyhting, he is ever ready,BUT i wont let him do anything.
marriage me sab kuch pyaar se, pyaar ke liye hona chahiye, baaki sab bekaar ha:)
good tha u know hindi, because sometimes inadvertantly i write something in Hindi and i find no substitute for that:)

Amrita said...

Well stereotypes are meant to be broken i think :)
and girls give a damn about them generally
we might be a bit irked but then WTH! :D

Anonymous said...

"Why a girl who is fashionable cant be brainy also?" R u talking abt me? LOL
Even I hateeeeeeee this notionnnnnnnnn
Ppl always mistake a hot looking girl for a snob…

If u give ur cell no, u r easy n interested..

If the girl knows cooking n stitching she is homely n marriage material

If a guy abuses, smokes n drinks, hes bad

If there’s an accident, it has to be a woman driver

If a person indulges in pre marital sex, he/she is bad

Shes sitting alone..mus b lonely n single

Hes fat, must be pigging out

Shes 27, not married..poor thing..must b depressed

She wears skimpy clothes, must b a bitch

hes working late hrs, very hard working

Renu said...

AMRITA: wow, ! this is the attitude I love:)

SWATS: wah, u have added some good ones:)
Abusing, smoking, drinking...arent they bad habits? But really we have so many assumptions:)

Manasa said...

WHen guys don't get onsite oppotunity they say-"why do gals want onsite, instead you can marry n go with hubby.." :|

Tht gal is already .. n she's not yet married :?

I get irked by such things..

Shalom said...

Totally agree about the perceptions of a girl's dress. Here's a funny thing though: for my wedding, I was very adamant that I would wear a gown instead of sari, because I anyway had to wear a sari for the reception. Mom backed me completely, Dad was reluctant, but agreed and we kept it a secret from most of our family including my dadi & nani because they would have been horrified. My MIL knew about it though & when we had gone shopping for my reception sari, she actually jumped with excitement at the thought of me wearing a gown!!! Ultimately on the big day, most of my family were stunned to see me in a gown, while hubby & in-laws were totally thrilled :D

aneri_masi said...

Loved your list...I am going to take a shot at trying to explain some of them :)

**Why a girl who is fashionable cant be brainy also?**

I guess this must be because the preconceived notion is that if you are paying so much attention to your appearance, then you are not paying much attention to other things...

**why we always want men drivers?**
Wish my husband was like this! He NEVER wants to drive!

**in the house maid servants are preferred?**
I thought this was true too...but in mumbai there are lots of "ramu's" doing the bartan-kapda type work. And my MIL prefers "boy-servants" (Would LOVE to argue about how the boy shld be going to school, not cooking for her, but am pretty sure NO ONE can win with her ;)

**why people say--maruti is a girl's car,as if car is driven by physical force?**
I guess because its a pretty, cute, little thing? My husband wants to buy me a truck (no kidding!)

**why in the movies, as long as the girl is bad she wears mod dresses, the day she starts changing, she comes to saree or salwar kameez?**
This one always makes me wonder...did she go shopping for all those salwars the minute she became the "good girl" ;) Or did the change of heart happen while shopping ;)

aneri_masi said...

Oh, and this one..

**Scooter is for girls and bike for boys?**
Coz its hard (close to impossible) to ride a bike in a skirt or sari :) Scooter works for all attires, and we have room in the front to keep our purse etc.

A rebel all the way... said...

all these are stereotypes...and they take a lot of time to go away...
but i also feel sometimes ppl themselves try to fit into one stereotype or the other...i guess it is normal human tendency to adhere to one culture...the herd effect i guess....
stronger a stereotype, more will be the number of ppl flocking to it...
thought its not always true, but i have seen it happen just so many times....

Renu said...

manasa: When u r talking abt work, i am remebering one more---girls always get it easy in the job, they dont get firing for misssed deadlines and treated well and blah-blah......
if a girl is not married till 30....she didnt get a good proposal, but if a boy didnt...then he was busy with his career..haha

Shalom: I think bridal gowns look lovely.When my daughter wanted grey wedding lehnga, everyone was shocked, though in the end she herself chose a maroon one:)

Aneri_MASI: Good explainations, but i wonder why cant girl pay attention to both, arent women adept at multitasking?
This driving thing yeah girls are changing completely, my DIL is a very expert at it, and once i met a girl in NOIDA and the way she drove the car totally astonished me, so much at ease and comfortable drive for the passengers:)
Boy servants arelittle unbsafe may be ebcause of that:)
I prefer tata Sieera though:)

REBEL: yeah its herd mentality , we r the best followers:)but today's generation is breaking lot of myths:)

sansmerci said...

stereotypin n judging will always b there.. n if ur breakin it ur an outcast... n thts another stereotype.. i kno a lota ppl who look at my appearance n decide tht i will b stubborn n arrogant (since i dress more fashionable).. n tell me i never thoguht ur so friendly wen they get to kno me .. i ve got so used to this now.. tht i jus ignore it..

group think! mostly ppl jus go by averages and universal thoughts and this is mostly done by the media .. like u said all filmy ideas! but i think slowly this is chagin nowdays .. i hope it does completely

rahul said...

we should first pay heed to the fact as 2 who is the main person in commenting or categorizing females like this.....generally females only say these things to their siblings, never indulge in such petty things..they prefer remaining reserve & they gossip less when compared 2 women.
one fact why women as a whole are looked down upon is a genuine one..,,, how many times one has seen a women crying ,and how many times one has seen a man crying...the ans will tell us women are emotionally weak,and they might suffer a emotional breakdown if too much exposed to this harsh world,(this problem is quite persistent in india.,leave apart the western countries)...
i agree 2 the fact that sometimes women are unnecessarily subordinated.,our culture and tradition is so, our tradition is an obstacle to progress ..,we indians are too much relying on our traditions ,and this is stopping us from broadining our outlook & horizon.from the ancient time women have worked in houses and men have gone out for work...this tradition has been going on and on .and as a cosequence of this more stress is layed on a man's education and women from their childhood days are employed in household this becomes the root cause for them bieng less brainy,less knowledgable,less emotionally strong,and less prepared 2 face the world when compared 2 a normal man of our society....
when girls who were emp. in household work in their tender grow up they are never able 2 do things which could have been done by them if they had been properly educated.she lacks in power when asked to take a major decision for the general benefit of the family

a woman only can help in this cause, and men should not be blamed for this or rahther the society should not be blamed in subordinating a women when she has grown up(how can she do a task when she is lacking in callibre to an educated man)but has society has 2 blamed in not respecting god's creation in its tender age and discriminating them frm boys...

I scribble here said...

i wouldnt say things have changed entirely now, but they sure are changing and fast. there would still be a small section that beleives in this men vs women debate but believe me we have come a long way.. i mean of all my friends the one who drives the best car and a sturdy one at that, happens to be a woman

Renu said...

RAHUL: wow Rinku, profound knowledge in the cradle:). Men never...what...u already started favouring men, ur favourite mausi is a women, so stasrt favouring women::))

ISH: You are right, things are changing and for better.I always trust a woman driver more than a man:)because women are instinctively cautious in everything.

Hélène H said...

Well I don't know why people say all these things.

But I know that when I visited India, I missed talking and sharing with women. Men were very nice and friendly to me but there's so many things I wanted to know about India that only women could tell me ! :o)

Renu said...

Helene h: This time whenevr you make a visit to India, stay with me in Chennai, that way you would meet many women:) and as such on email, I will be happy to tell u whatever you are interested in knowing about India.

Hélène H said...

That's very kind of you Renu, thank you very much :o)

Dreams of parents

Now a days counselling and admissions are going on for colleges, so I see parents fretting around and always talking about reservations and...