There culture is so different, by the time children are 16, either they want to live independently, or if they live with u, they want to have a separate key and dont want you to interfere in anything...like who they bring to their room and all that.........
His son.....quite mature for his age...also said that he is a misfit there presently,because if he doesnt conform to the culture he doesnt get any friends or circle, and since he is more into Indian mindset, he cant conform. he wanted to study in India till 12th atleast.
So she has come here to stay for the formative yrs of his son. Her husband remains in London, both of them keep visiting each other as often as they can and their pockets permit:).
When i discussed it in my home, my children say this is not true for everybody.But i think there is truth somewhere in between..........I remember one of my friend who used to go to visit her daughter in NY in 90's, and this is what she used to say...
Renu, there so much of liberty is given to children that they turn out to be quite rude and stubborn, i keep telling my daughter to look after them(She was working) and teach them our Indian culture of respecting elders.
But of course, not everybody is rude there and polite here, its all individualistic traits also and then upbringing, atmosphere all around them. so is this ABCD (american born confused desi) syndrome exists ? or it is all in our minds? Even in many area in India also my chilkdren keep saying-----mom times change ho gaye hain ab,aap apne times se kuch bhi compare mat kiya karo:)
Change is all around..in thinking,in affordability,in view points,lifestyle and change is imminent also,but one thing we must never change is.....our ethics, our culture and our morality. Assimilating ourselves in our adopted country is a very good trait, and praiseworthy and required also........but it can be for the language,dress, celebration, education all that, but our values must remain intact.
i feel it very strange to say......middle class values or small town mentality, because it proves that only middle class has values not upper class......of course for the lower class it is said that hunger and poverty cant be the upholders of values..........Even upper class people who must have never been in the middle class ever, feel proud to say.......I still have that middle class values:).This is the only thing where middle class is glorified:)
So what do you, since many of you are living in a different country, what is your take, and what do you think is the best way to maintain everything-------or do you think it shouldnt be maintained?