Then while waiting for the train I met a couple whose only son has also settled in US.and they are here all alone at the autumn of their life.Then again I met someone around 65 yr old lady with the same story except that when she went to stay with her son, they used to leave their 2 and half yr old child with her while both of them went to work.,As very normal, the child will move around a lot and go upstairs, and running after him she had severe back pain.Recently I have come across many people with the same story except that some are open to tell their misery and some camouflage it with the reason that their children love them a lot, and children;s future is most important.
To go deeper into the problem I asked a few questions from all of them like Why dont they stay there in US where they will have someone to look after them?Answers were different with different reasons like--
1-their children dont have visas where they can keep the parents permanently/
2-They dont want to live their permanently. there they have nobody to talk to, and nowhere to go, they have no circle and all that
3--They find the medical system there very expensive and are not comfortable with that.
4-Here they can hire help and can manage their life but there very few children are so considerate that they can keep their parents with respect and love, even if they cant do anything, most of the children want their parents to do the house work or keep the children, for both of them they have no energy left now.
Most of them want to live their life with dignity, even if they have to live alone or without any emotional support.In the next five yrs this is going to be the biggest problem we need to face.
When the parents say that children's future is more important than us, they are being parent only, as usual magnanimous and sacrificing, but then should the children not think about them. And what is the definition of good future---is it money, or job satisfaction or both, and family means nothing?.One should be taught to take every decision in life with a rational aand righteous thinking.Getting professional success and making money can not be everything in life. One has certain duties in life and they should be fulfilled only then life gets a meaning.I am not saying that all those who dont go abroad are better off.There are all sort of people everywhere.But thatlady;s sentence made me think---why the children never consider parents in their plans of their life, and take all the decisions without bothering about their well being, whereas parents take all the decisions CONSIDERING their children;s future only.
Now the stigma with old age home must be removed and I hope some business people realise this and make homes such where senior citizens can live and have a life, life of security and with all other facilities like entertainment and health care, without bothering about housekeeping which is a major problem after a certain age.